Testing

01/20/88 - 05/24/09

Sergio passed away this morning. I'm still in shock. I was in Fresno when I received the call from my mom. The moment I saw her calling, I knew she was calling with bad news. I have so many what-ifs, like what if I had left home since yesterday, I could have still seen him one more time. I really can't believe this is happening. When I finally got here from Fresno, I immediately went to hug his parents. When I went to hug his mom, she started to cry even harder and kept telling me, "Se nos fue tu hermano (your brother left us)." He really was like a second brother to me. We literally grew up together. I can't remember once single day when we didn't play together when we were kids. I was always at his house since all that separated us was a drive way. We'd always have our front doors propped open all the way so that it was easy going in and out of each other's houses. As we got older, we drifted apart, but I still had the comfort of knowing that no matter what, he was still only 20 steps away from my front door. Now that comfort is gone. It's cliche and not very comforting at the moment, but at least he's not suffering anymore. He battled cancer for 2.5 years. He was so so strong. It hurts so much that he's not here anymore, but he was in so much pain the last couple of months of his battle that I'm sure he's in a better place now. There's absolutely no way he will ever be forgotten. There are just too many good memories. Even though we only had him with us for a short 21 years, I'm so glad I was given the chance to know and love someone like him<3


Looking through his pictures on myspace is so incredibly tough because I see someone who was filled with so much love and energy, but towards the end of his fight with cancer, he was so weak and frail. I really wish this was just a horrible nightmare. Last night, he was in my dreams, but never did I think that this morning I'd be given this horrible news. We knew he only had 6 months or less to live. We knew that doctors could do no more, but we still hung on to some hope that a miracle would occur. I think that's what makes this so hard.

very important decision to make

I'm trying to pick my graduation dress(es) and am having such a hard time! Tell me which ones you like best:

help me choose my graduation dress(es)! Pick your top 2 out of these:

A)

B)


C)

D)


E)


F)

Thanks :]

It's been a tough day today. My lifelong friend, cousin, neighbor is finally home from the hospital, but he's been given less than 6 months to live. The cancer is uncontrollable now. His family, my parents, my brother and myself spent all morning crying. I've spent most of the day with him, but it hurts so much to watch him in so much pain and have such great difficulty doing simple tasks such as sitting up in a chair. He's in a delirious state where he has started to see things and is afraid to fall asleep because he sees a man who wants to take him away :/ His insensitive nurse gave him a little booklet on what to expect when he's dying...I want to fucking slap her. I hadn't seen my dad or brother cry in so long, but we all love Sergio so much, he's like my parents' son and he's like a brother to me and Ivan. I'm hoping for a miracle.

Ay!

So I'm a little bit disappointed because my full-time job at NDLON is only guaranteed for the position of being the coordinator for the Asamblea Nacional, which unfortunately is only 4 months. After that, things are sorta up in the air due to funding, but if all goes well with a potential grant that they are counting on, then I'll still have a job after October. I'll admit, it really bummed me out because I was hoping to have a sense of security after graduating, but everything is still in limbo. But I'm going to remain positive and hopefully things will fall into place for me. My starting salary will be $35,000 a year, so I really hope that I can even be there for a year to get my full compensation. This news made me iffy as to whether I should even attempt to move out of my parents' house because what if I didn't find a job after October, but like I said, I'm just going to remain positive and hopeful that everything will work out. Therefore, I'm still going to try to find a cute studio/1 bedroom, but will focus on finding one with a 6 month lease. I'm excited to be working on the Asamblea and I'm going to try to do a damn good job at it, so we'll see what happens!

Hotel Fox

Sometime in this lifetime, I hope to stay in one of the rooms at Hotel Fox in Denmark. Some of them are stunning.

my future!

On Wednesday, I got great news! So as you all may or may not know, I'm graduating soon and am taking time off to work. My plans post-grad were to do a summer internship with Change to Win, organizing warehouse workers in the Inland Empire. However, this was not my ideal plan. My ideal plan all along was that I could stay in LA and work for NDLON, the org that I've been with for quite some time. Well Chris, Marco and John have all been pushing for me to work there and I guess they finally got through to Pablo, the executive director, because today he sat me down and asked me that if I were offered a full-time position, would I forfeit my summer internship and OF COURSE I WOULD! This is what I've wanted to do all along! My main job would be to organize the NDLON National Convention and then after that's done with and if I still wanted to stay, they'd create a position for me (which Pablo said would probably be that of an organizer because he knows that's what I really want to do). I AM SO EXCITED!!!! He told me to think about it and we'd talk next week, but today I saw him again and I accepted! I still don't know how much I'd be making because John will be laying that out next week, but Pablo assured me that the pay would not be bad and I'll have full benefits.

The only downer is that I am moving out of my apartment by the end of June, we are breaking the lease early since my roommates will be studying abroad. It just seems easier to move out altogether than subletting. Originally, I was moving out so I could move to the Inland Empire for the internship, but now I am just going to move back home for a while, so that's why I'm really hoping I can get settled well enough at NDLON and get my own place soon enough!